the real bummer about coming back was finding out that our friend john is getting worse. he was in and out of the hospital at least once, possibly more, while we were on vacation and it now mobile by walker or wheelchair only. we've been trying to spend time with him because his time is getting extremly limited, so the usual suspects gathered at his and lisa's house sunday night for dinner, and even though he is incredibly weak and tired and on a continuous morphine drip for pain, he is still cracking the dry jokes like he used to, they are just not quite as frequent. and he did manage to show us he can still ride the lawn tractor if necessary.

it is so difficult to see a once vibrant, active person that you care about deteriorate slowly. it's hard to find the words to let them know they made a difference in your life and say goodbye, but it's important that you do it.